You're near me, but can you hear me?
by kyllir
Summary: my first Conan fic! . Conan hears a song on the radio and is compelled to talk to Ran, sort of a songfic. COMPLETE!
1. Phonecalls

You're near me, but can you hear me?

By kyllir

Disclaimer: I don't own Case closed/Detective Conan, so please don't sue .;

A/N: This is my first Detective Conan fic, so please be kind! This is inspired by the song 'Light and shadow', one of the ending themes from the show. o.o; I'm using the English FUNimation version, since most of the people here would understand English better than Japanese, but I'm using the Japanese names

The sun was just setting behind the buildings across the street as the boy called Conan Edogawa peeked out the window of the Mouri detective agency, the building that had been his home for the last several months. Conan was getting frustrated, he hadn't expected the trail to go cold so fast while chasing the men responsible for his appearance. He was not supposed to live at the Mouri detective agency with Ran and her father, he was not supposed to know what the girl's room looked like, and he wasn't supposed to be a little kid!

'This sucks, I'm never going to find those men in black,' he thought to himself wearily, a slight drizzle of rain began speckling the sidewalk outside the window, Conan sighed as Kogouro entered the livingroom, shooing Conan out so he could watch television. Conan ran out of the room quickly, he didn't like to stay around with Kogouro in the room, he always ended up getting drunk and snoozing loudly on the couch. He strode down the hall until he came to his room, which was really a storage room, that they had converted into tiny bedroom. It was large enough to fit a small child like Conan, but it would hardly fit an adults bed inside.

He remembered the day they'd moved him into this room, after he'd been there over a month, Kogouro had tired to sharing his room with Conan, so he charged Ran with fixing the closet up. The only real change they had to make to the closet was to make the light switch pull cord long enough for Conan's short body to reach. They had moved in a small bed that Ran had used when she was younger, and they fit it in the back of the closet, with two feet of floor space to spare at the foot of the bed, they had also given him a small dresser, which also served as a desk, and a chair. All the furniture had previously been painted pink, and Conan was less than impressed, so Ran surprised him by taking him to the hardware store to pick out any color paint he wanted. He ended up picking out a shade of royal blue.

Ran had shooed him off to play with his friends the next day, and when he returned, all his furniture was painted and in place, and Ran had even gone to the trouble of painting little red bowties along the sides of the bed and dresser, and also she had made him a sign on the door with his name on it, also in the shape of a red tie. Conan was so touched by the action that he was still thanking her for it every chance he could. However thinking of Ran's kindness also made him sad, because no matter what, he couldn't be honest with her. He had seen the girl crying at times, knowing that she was crying for Shin'ichi. For him. Conan wished a thousand times that he could tell her the truth about him being Shin'ichi, but doing so would put her in danger.

He sat on his bed silently for a few moments, before switching on the radio Ran had recently given him. He fiddled with the dials for a while before he found a station that he liked, and leaned back against the wall to listen. He heard a beautiful piano melody beginning, followed by a woman's voice;

_The night would linger on in tireless bliss if you just whisper sweet _

_nothings to me all night long,_

Conan let his mind flutter along with the melody,

_Lying in memories I get swept away, lost in thought I turn over control,_

_caught up in playful dreams I drift away, as the truth remains, stay cool and dry_,

His mind wandered along, remembering back when he was still Shin'ichi, remembering the first time he met Ran in grade school so many years ago, remembered walking home with her after his soccer practices and her karate club after school, remembered just how close they had been.

_Where will I wander, baby where will I go to ensure I have your love by my side?_

_You're near me, but can you hear me? As far away as the clouds above me,_

_yet I'll follow you wherever you go, count on me I'll be there_,

Conan opened his eyes, 'near me, can you hear me?' he pondered, this song is ME, he realized. 'Here I've been next to Ran the whole time I've been a kid, and she still misses me like I'm not here.. Because I haven't told her. Maybe someday I can tell her, but if we cant find the antidote to this stupid poison, what's the point? I'll still just be a kid to her, could she really understand that?' he furrowed his brows,

_And if you someday figure out I love you, and if you someday finally realize_

_I'm good for you, and even if we have to work out our problems with harsh words,_

Conan smiled, it could happen, maybe, someday. He sat up and slid off the bed, and crept out of his room, noting that Ran was in her room studying, and it didn't look like she'd be leaving the room anytime soon. He also noticed that she had also turned on her radio, and heard the last chords of the song he had just been listening to in his room.

_and if you someday figure out I need you, and if you someday finally realize_

_I'm good for you, and even if we have to work out our problems with harsh words..._

'Need, eh?' Conan thought, 'if there was a word stronger than 'need', I'd use it,' he thought as he slipped soundlessly past the sleeping Kogouro and out the front door, into the rain. He now had the strongest urge to talk to Ran, in his own voice. He ran to the payphone as fast as his legs could carry him, and ducked inside. Stacking the phone books on the floor, he made a platform so he'd be tall enough to reach the receiver, he picked it up and dialed Ran's number, while it rang he adjusted the dials on his voice emulator.

"Hello, Mouri detective agency, Ran speaking," he heard her say,

"Hey Ran, how have you been?" he spoke through the tie, he could practically hear her face light up, and wished he could see it,

"Shin'ichi?! Where the heck have you been? And how come you never call?" she cried, he chuckled,

"I'm calling you now, aren't I? I miss you Ran, I really wish I could come home," he said in a sad tone,

"Well why don't you? You don't HAVE to work on that case you're on, you can come back, right?" he could tell she was tearing up and sighed,

"Ran... I'm not sure you want me back as I am now, its hard to explain..." he trailed off,

"Of course I want you to come back, why wouldn't I? Has something happened to you?" she asked in a worried tone,

"You could say that," he said sheepishly, "I'm afraid I can't tell you about it though, that information could put you in danger. That's why I took this case that's so far away, if you're seen with me, something bad could happen," he bit his lip, what if he told her too much already?

"I don't care about that Shin'ichi, I miss you, and I want to see you," he could hear the sadness in her voice,

"Don't worry, Ran, I cant meet with you, but I am still with you. I sometimes come to check up on you, you know, just to make sure you're okay. But I cant put you at risk, there are some nasty people on my trail." Ran let out a muffled sob,

"You're really watching over me Shin'ichi?" he heard the hope in her voice,

"As much as I can... I saw you earlier today, I never thought you could be so close to a person and still miss them this much..." He could feel tears pricking his eyes,

"I miss you too, please come back soon..." there was a great rumble of thunder,

"I'd better go, please take care of yourself! Goodnight Ran!" he called over the thunder,

"Goodnight Shin'ichi, I'll wait for you, but don't keep me waiting too long!" there was a click heard, as all the lights on the street turned off. Conan's eyes widened when he realized there had been a blackout, and he tore out of the phone booth as fast as he could, knowing that Ran would run to check on Conan right away. He scanned the windows cautiously before opening the door. To his relief there was no one to be found in the living room, but a snoring Kogouro. Conan pushed his wet bangs out of his eyes, how was he going to explain this? He saw Ran at the end of the hall with a flashlight, looking in his room,

"Conan! Where are you?" she called out, voice full of worry. Conan ducked into the bathroom and shut the door,

"I'm in the bathroom Ran-neechan!" he called as he groped around for a towel to dry his hair. She wouldn't worry as much if he looked like he came in from the rain ten minutes ago as opposed to ten seconds ago. Once he was somewhat dry, he came out of the bathroom, only to run into Ran in the hallway. She quickly noticed the moisture in his hair and clothes,

"What were you doing out in the rain?" she asked with a hint of worry in her voice, thinking quickly to explain himself, he blurted,

"I thought I saw someone outside a little while ago so I walked out to take a peek," he saw Ran's eyes mist over, clearly wondering if it was her Shin'ichi that he saw. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and then plucked Conan off the floor,

"It's about time we got you to bed, don't you have school in the morning?" she carried him off to his little room and looked around the dark room with her flashlight, finally plucking a pair of pajamas out of his dresser, she turned around and let him dress in the warm, dry garments. Once he finished changing, she tucked him into bed and placed his glasses on the dresser, then bent down and kissed his forehead, his sleepy eyes widened and he looked up at her,

"Goodnight Conan, sweet dreams," she said as she exited the room. Conan's hand flew up to the spot where she kissed him, and he blushed. Then, yawning, rolled over into a peaceful slumber.

A/N: I don't recall where he really sleeps in the series, so I gave him a room o.o hope that's okay... I may add more to this later.


	2. Confessions

You're near me but can you hear me? Chapter two

by: kyllir

Disclaimer: I own a Conan doll, yes I do, but I don't own the series.

A/N: I'm using the Japanese names again this time, so in case you get confused, Shin'ichi is Jimmy, Ran is Rachael, and Kogorou is Richard. Oooh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEISH! ::GLOMP::

It had been about a week since Ran had received her last phone call from Shin'ichi, she was used to his calls being far apart, so she wasn't worried about him. Conan was troubled though, he seemed to have been turning something over in his mind for the last few days. Every time Ran tried to ask him what he was thinking about he would start and then mutter something about a math equation.

"You know," Ran began one evening, "I can tutor you if math is becoming a problem." Conan sat up all of a sudden,

"Huh? Oh yeah, math... I think I figured it out myself, I'm going to my room to finish my homework." with that he skittered out of the room before Ran could say anything. When he reached his room he pulled his door shut and flopped onto his bed, he needed to think, but not about math. Sighing, he flipped onto his stomach and switched his radio on. He was glad that he had the radio in there to drown out his screaming thoughts. An upbeat techno-ish melody emitted from the small radio, the pounding of the drums seemed to synch with his heartbeat as a woman began to sing,

_All your love I had and all was cast away from me, gone in an instant,_

_Wont forget, I'll focus hard to untangle this mystery, aaah knowing you don't suspect a thing,_

'This is a cheerful song.' Conan thought to himself sarcastically as he played the words over in his head, the song immediately reminded him of the issue that had been troubling him this past week.

_Remember summer days, hanging out, our time together, _

_looking back on those even now brings tears that wont cease, you were my true love,_

Letting the music guide his thoughts, Conan shut his eyes, remembering old times. One event in particular stuck out in his mind, it was right before the school year started,

"The karate championship is coming up in a couple weeks, are you going to come?" Ran asked Shin'ichi as they walked through the park.

"I can try, but you know how it is with cases... if nothing comes up, I promise I'll be there to cheer you on." he replied a little nervously, Ran glared at him and huffed,

"Fine, but you'll have to make it up to me!" she continued to glare, he gulped nervously and laughed,

"Okay, okay, if you win the championship I promise I'll take you to that amusement park you like, my treat." He smiled as the anger drained from her face and was replaced with a smile,

"Alright then, Shin'ichi! You know I'll win, so don't forget!" they both laughed,

"I know you will, I know you will..."

Conan smiled at the memory, but things had changed so much since then...

_Just please have faith in me, I'll bring them back you'll see,_

_My wounded heart beats only for you, and longs to unveil hidden secrets..._

He began to wonder if he would ever find those men in black, if he'd be stuck as Conan forever. Wouldn't it be better then, if he told Ran who he really was? If he wasn't coming back, she'd worry about him. Phone calls couldn't hold her back forever, after all... The reason he wouldn't let himself tell her before was because he had foolishly assumed that he would only be stuck as a child for a couple weeks at most, if he had known it would drag on for almost a year, he would have told her, regardless of Agasa-hakase's warnings. Watching her wait for him to return was much more painful than any amount of waiting on her could ever be. He had convinced himself that he was keeping his secret for her own good, but what if it wasn't doing her any good at all?

_Simple wounded heart, it always longs for you, and longs to tell you secrets..._

He switched off the radio and sat up again, he had only a vague idea of what he was doing as he walked from his room over to Ran's, and knocked on her door.

"Who is it?" he heard her ask from inside the room, he gulped and answered back,

"Ran-neechan, can I talk to you for a minute?" Ran was a little worried by his tone of voice and immediately admitted him into her room. He sat down on her bed, it was obvious now that math wasn't the thing troubling him, if she had to guess, she would have said it was girl trouble, but wasn't Conan a little young for that?

"What can I help you with, Conan-kun?" she asked gently, he took a shaky breath and looked up at her for a moment before looking back at his knees.

"Ano... Ran-neechan, how would you feel if someone lied to you?" he asked in a small voice, she blinked and answered,

"Well, I think I'd be hurt that this person couldn't tell me the truth." She wondered where this was going. Conan drew another shaky breath,

"But what if the truth was painful? Wouldn't the lie be better then?" he glanced upwards for a moment to see her expression, she looked a little confused. She paused for a moment to think, and then responded,

"The truth would definitely be better, while the lie may be pretty, it is cruel to let people think something that is not true, to deceive themselves. People can never move on with their lives if they don't know what's going on, nor can they respond or be prepared for it when it eventually catches up with them. There is only one truth, and it always prevails." she said, a sad smile on her face as she thought of Shin'ichi, she knew that he would have said the same thing. Conan's eyes widened as he took in what she said, he felt ashamed. Once again he glanced downwards,

"Are you sure you'd want the truth?" he asked in a small voice.

"Yes, of course." She looked down at him, wondering what was making him act so serious. This definitely went further than normal girl trouble, she was going to ask him what the exact situation was when he looked up at her. His eyes looked very sad and worried, she was caught off guard by such eyes and stopped.

"Ran-neechan, if I tell you something, will you promise not to be too mad?" he bit his lip, Ran's eyes widened. She still didn't know what was troubling the boy, but why would he worry about her getting mad at him?

"I promise, go ahead Conan-kun." She watched as he wrung his hands nervously,

"Ran, I..." He began, Ran's eyes widened a bit when he dropped the honorific, "I'm sorry that I haven't been honest with you. One truth does prevail, and I had forgotten that. All this time, I thought I was protecting you, but I only made you hurt more." he hung his head in shame, "Ran, I really am Shin'ichi. I'm sorry." he sniffled as tears fell down his cheeks. Ran was speechless, more shocked than angry. She looked down at Conan as he wiped at his eyes furiously, almost as if begging his tears to stop. She felt tears of her own well up in her eyes as she wound her arms around the crying boy. He looked up at her in surprise, tears still flowing from his eyes, before diving into her embrace.

"Shin'ichi..." she whispered as she hugged him, "I'm just glad you're safe... but please don't lie to me again."

"I wanted to tell you in my real voice, but I love you Ran..." Their eyes met for a moment. Ran smiled down at him,

"I love you too, Shin'ichi..." They continued to embrace one another, as if they'd both been lost for a very long time and finally reunited. "Shin'ichi." Ran stated in a harsh tone, he cringed, "You have got a lot of explaining to do. However... that can wait til later." She laid down, Conan still in her arms, and they both fell into a restful slumber. With smiles on their faces they drifted softly into dreams of one another, finally at peace.

The end


End file.
